Lost and Fumbling
by Abunai Himitsu
Summary: Naruto and his team went missing 5 years ago. This is the story of his return to Konoha. He is affected deeply by what happened during those years... his mental state is unstable. The Nanadaime won't leave his side this time and not ever again. KakaNaru
1. Chapter 1

He was sure of it… he was losing his mind. There was only so much that one could take before things finally began to blur. The men stood over his broken form and contemplated jovially over what exactly should be done next. He simply laid there as the men's discussion turned into an argument. He let himself be grabbed by his left arm… the shoulder was dislocated, but he didn't feel much anymore. His whole body was numb from it all. The man dragged him over to a table, the aching in his left shoulder increased. He wasn't very heavy anymore… in fact… he hadn't even grown since his capture.

His body had gone through so much trauma over the past five years… so much. Not a sound exits his throat. He hasn't uttered a sound in two years… he was sure his voice was gone forever. His beaten and battered body is hoisted onto the table and he allows a brief comfort in the cold slab of metal. His body was fevered. Sweat dripped down the sides of his face and forehead. His chest glistened under the lamp that shone on him. His ribs were visible and his bones poked out like eye sores. He was hardly ever given more to eat than a piece of bread and a stalk of celery with water to drink.

It seemed like a feast now. His hands would shake whenever he tried to pick them up… he would probably never hold a kunai again. Vaguely, he feels spikes be driven through his forearms and thighs. The men only did this in the first year… when he still fought back. When they all still fought back… when they were all still alive. He doesn't even shed a tear in his sorrow. It just makes the men more eager to play with him. He was the only one still left alive in his team. The only one to have survived… even when he'd tried to kill himself.

In all of his years hating what he was, this was the one time that he truly abhorred himself as the village people did. He cursed himself and his will broke. However, he never gave the men what they wanted. He never gave into their demands… he would never betray the village. He loved the village and those that were still alive within it's walls. He prayed they had given up on him and his team. There was nothing left of them now. He was as good as dead.

The life that had glistened in his cerulean eyes had long since extinguished itself. The blonde hair that had shimmered like the sun was paling and uneven. He had also grown to hate the sun, the men liked to tie him up and leave him outside naked. His body was tan and burnt… but still looked young. The scars that lined his body were thin. The demon within his body had originally been able to heal any wound and leave no trace, but now it was worn down. The Kyuubi was tired and unable to keep up with the torture. Once, he had stood before the cage the fox resided in and saw the exhaustion. Kyuubi's voice gave a ragged and thundery apology. That was the last time he heard from the fox… that was two years ago.

Suddenly, a scalpel is thrust into his body and he's dissected. There were no drugs administered… there never are. He can feel everything. They don't do much more than cut him and glance inside. The men don't like sticking their hands into his flesh anymore. He almost died the last time they did. He allows his eyes to glance at one of the men. He recognized him immediately when captured. The silver hair and glasses gave him away. There was only one difference… his eyes looked like a snake's and he stopped wearing the glasses. The other man was someone he didn't know and he usually ignored him.

He feels sick as another cut is made. Death from blood loss… it was edging towards him. He can feel himself slipping down farther and farther into a comforting coldness. Unfortunately, he's jerked back out of it. There's sound. Sounds he's never heard while within the men's captivity. An explosion. Light… sunlight shines in and blinds the three. He feels hopeful of dying during this attack. So much commotion… he just wants it to be over with. He silently prays… pleads… he begs someone to kill him. A familiar face is staring down at him now. He recognizes it… but he doesn't know why. It's a woman… pale eyes… black hair. Who is she? The spikes are carefully removed from his arms and thighs.

"Naruto-kun?" The woman speaks timidly.

He looks at her… he's blank. The name… Naruto… was that his name? He hadn't been called anything in five years. He vaguely remembers having a name. What was that name again? What were the names of his teammates? They died three years ago… he couldn't remember their names. Just their faces. Another person is at the table, brown hair… red triangled cheeks. He's familiar as well. Why? Who are these people that look horrified at his appearance? He knows it's worthless worrying over anything… he's being dragged back down to his own death. He turns his head up towards the sky and closes his eyes.

The village was a buzz. Kurenai had returned with her team and had apparently brought someone long thought dead back. The hospital had strictly forbid anyone from entering the room this person was in. Tsunade and Shizune were in there for days working on him. The body was in horrendous shape. Signs of years of torture evident all over the young man. Tsunade could only imagine his mental state. Shizune had thrust many people out of the hospital when they got too close to the room. The person that Tsunade and she were trying to save wouldn't be able to handle it.

People stood outside the walls of the building and waited for news. Shifts were created. So, when Tsunade was done, the people on the shift could spread the news. Whether it was good or bad. Finally, after a week of intensive medical attention… Tsunade deemed him stable enough to survive. She walked from the hospital to the Hokage tower. She needed to inform the Nanadaime of the young man's condition. She knew that the Hokage was beside himself with wanting to know who it was and if he was alright. She stepped into the Hokage's office and the man at the desk was on his feet instantly. He walked over to her.

"Kakashi… sit back down." Tsunade said softly.

"Tsunade-sama, who is it? No one's telling me anything!" Kakashi shouted in frustration. Everyone had been kept out of the loop. Only Kurenai, Kiba, Shino and Hinata knew who it was they returned with. "I want answers!"

"It's… Kakashi, it's Naruto." Tsunade said; tears that had threatened to burst from her all week finally came forth. "He's alive!"

"Naruto…?" Kakashi's masked mouth fell open. "He…"

"Yes, he's alive."

"I want to see him." Kakashi made to walk around Tsunade, but was halted by her hand on his shoulder.

"No one should see him… you have no idea what Kurenai's team is going through after seeing him. You have no idea what Shizune is going through." Tsunade uttered miserably. "What I'm going through… Kakashi… you should wait."

"No." Kakashi growled and shrugged his shoulder from her.

Tsunade followed him. She knew that he wouldn't take well to seeing Naruto in the state he was in. The blonde may look better now than he had before, but he was still an absolute mess. Naruto was terribly scarred and thin; he hadn't grown an inch since he left on the mission five years ago. Even though the blonde was supposed to be a healthy twenty-two year old… he still looked seventeen. He almost looked younger than that even. Tsunade walked behind the Nanadaime and steeled herself for his reaction. They entered the hospital and passed by Kurenai and her team. Kakashi noted just how much of an impact seeing Naruto had on them.

The team was sitting in the psych ward waiting for the doctor. Kurenai and Hinata were sobbing into each other's arms. Both women were shaking uncontrollably. Kiba was staring catatonically at the floor with wide eyes. He even had tears trickling down his cheeks. Shino sat beside Kibo, head in his hands and gripping his hair tightly. The psych ward's nurse saw Kakashi looking at them and shut the door. He felt his chest tighten and he spun away from the ward, running down the halls. Shizune was in the room, tending to Naruto when the door flew open.

"Nanadaime!" Shizune gasped and stood.

"Naruto." Kakashi couldn't move.

The blonde lying on the hospital bed before him wasn't Naruto. It couldn't be Naruto. His skin was darker… redder. His hair was almost white. There was no lean muscle or fat on the body. It was completely skin and bones. Scars riddled the skin and appeared a shade lighter than the rest. The worst part was Naruto was so small… so very small. Kakashi had always thought that if Naruto had still been alive after that mission fiver years prior, he'd have filled out. He had thought Naruto would end up taller than he was, that Naruto would have broader shoulders. The person that lie on that hospital bed wasn't Naruto… it couldn't be Naruto.

Then he saw them… the Nanadaime toppled to the side were a sink was. He pulled his mask down and emptied the contents of his stomach. Those three whiskered scars on Naruto's cheek were there. They had remained untouched by the hands of the torturers. Kakashi let out a strangled sob. It was Naruto. It was Konoha's most unpredictable ninja. It was the blonde he had adored so much. He had been living the past five years in shame that he'd never truly admitted his affections. Yet, seeing the blonde in such a state now… he felt even worse. Tsunade enters the room and watches mournfully as Kakashi falls onto his knees and grips the sink like a lifeline.

"I told you to wait." Tsunade whispers gently.

"Nanadaime?" Shizune tentatively steps towards the distraught Hokage.

Tsunade joins Shizune and they help Kakashi to his feet. After Tsunade has the man cleaned up a little, they walk over to Naruto's bedside. Kakashi feels himself grow cold as he slumps into the chair next to the bed. Naruto's breathing was shallow and coarse. His lips were split and chapped. The Nanadaime wants to put something on them to soothe them. Shizune, as if reading Kakashi's mind, stands on the other side and administers a balm to the lips. He reaches a hand out so he can touch the blonde, but Tsunade grabs it. She shakes his head at him solemnly.

"He's going to be out for a while…" Shizune states gently.

"We're putting special restrictions on this room and the hall in front of it. We don't want anyone to see him like this. Especially not until the Yamanaka clan can check his mental state." Tsunade sighs. "Kurenai said that they only found Naruto… Sakura, Shikamaru and Sai were no where to be found."

"She believes that they didn't survive…" Shizune chokes back a tear.

Kakashi's mind absorbed the information, but he had no response. He just sat in the chair, shoulders sagging and eyes blurred. His head looked in Naruto's direction… he saw nothing and he saw everything. The young man was alive… but he was also dead. Kakashi knew that. He knew that Naruto would never be the same. He felt sick again. The Nanadaime closed his eyes and put his right hand over his eyes. He didn't want to look at Naruto… he didn't want to see what he saw… and yet, he wanted to be there. He didn't want to leave. Never. He never wanted to leave.

Tsunade left the room. She instructed Shizune to stay and keep an eye on both Naruto and Kakashi. The former Hokage walked down the halls. He took a step out of the building and was greeted by two Jounin. One was a female with long blonde hair and pale blue eyes, Ino. The other was a slightly plump male with auburn hair and spirals adorning his cheeks, Chouji. They had heard that Kurenai's team had come back with someone. Someone that had disappeared five years ago. They had hoped it was one of their friends. They prayed it was one of them. Just one… any one… it didn't matter which of the four, they just wanted one back.

"Ino. Chouji." Tsunade greets them, repressing her emotions again. "It's… Naruto."

"Oh thank God. One of them survived!" Ino cried out and found it hard to contain her happiness. "Can we see him?"

"No, no one can see him… not until your father assesses his mental health." Tsunade states.

"His mental health?" Chouji frowns. "What happened to him?"

"…" Tsunade swallowed hard. She couldn't stop the tears from escaping her eyes anymore. "Too much."

* * *

Eh…………………. Different from the others I've written, ain't it? *cough*

I do promise to finish this… so don't worry. I will try to update as often as I possibly can. I have a lot of projects I'm working on, but I will try my best to keep going!!


	2. Chapter 2

Days passed… long, lonely and gloomy. The skies were cloudy and rain poured from them. It seemed almost as if the heavens were crying for Naruto as much as everyone else was. News about the return of Uzumaki Naruto had spread like wildfire throughout the village. A large group of villagers united and threw money into one big pot. They used it to buy a new home for the blonde ninja. Several others chipped in to buy furniture and other items to decorate the home. It wasn't much of one, but it was most suitable for a young bachelor like Naruto. It was as close to the Hokage Tower as it could be without being apart of the tower itself.

Rumors of the blonde coming back heavily injured didn't deter anyone. When Naruto's fellow ninja classmates heard of his return, plans erupted for a welcome party. They couldn't wait to see him. In fact, the entire village was excited and couldn't wait to see his smiling face. Unfortunately, those who had see Naruto knew that he wouldn't be smiling for a long time. Some believed that he may never smile again. Tsunade herself… feared he could never be a ninja… therefore… he'd never be Hokage.

Kakashi stares at the young man that is laying in the bed… he's so still. He hadn't moved from the chair since he first sat in it four days ago. This was the longest he had ever had to wait for Naruto to recover. Normally, the blonde would wake up and escape the hospital, laughing to whole time. Shizune and Tsunade both sit in chairs opposite the Nanadaime. They were silent. The only sound was from Naruto's ragged breathing. Kakashi looks away from Naruto only for a moment when he sees movement in the corner of the room. Tsunade and Shizune are on the trespasser at once.

It's one of Konoha's ninja. His coal eyes settle on the small frame that rests in the bed before him. He can't believe it… he'd heard… so many people had been talking about the return of Naruto. So many. They were wrong. This… person, in front of his eyes was not Naruto. This was not the person that brought him back from the depths he had allowed himself to sink to. This was not the sunny and smiling blonde that had left on a mission five years ago. He didn't want to believe it. Sasuke didn't want to believe that the shell in that bed was his teammate.

"Sasuke, you shouldn't be here." Tsunade said sternly.

"That… that's not Naruto." Sasuke gasped out.

"You need to leave." Tsunade tried again. She tightened her grip on the young Uchiha.

"It's not him. How can that be him!?" Sasuke's voice rose with each agonizing word. He wanted them to say it wasn't Naruto. Even if it was… he wanted them to lie and say it wasn't.

"Get out, Sasuke." Kakashi stared at the raven haired man gravely. "Now."

Sasuke looked from Naruto to his former teacher. A slight nod showed that he understood. The Uchiha looked back at the small body of Naruto in disbelief once more. Then, he disappeared in a small puff of smoke. He had to get away… that wasn't his friend. There was no possible way that that could have been Naruto. He was so fragile looking and Naruto was anything but fragile. Sasuke stops on a rooftop and allows his legs to give out from under him. He sits on the roof in shock. What had happened during those five years to cause this? Who had done this? Who was even capable of doing this?

That was the question on everyone's mind after seeing Naruto. Who had done this? Only Kurenai's team knew. The Jounin leader had informed Tsunade that her team had taken care of the people responsible. However, she did not say who it was. She couldn't… she was busy tending to her team and to herself. Tsunade sighed and wished for something to happen… for the boy to give her some sign of improvement. Nothing happened… and the fourth day passed in the same long, lonely and gloomy way the other's had.

It was on the fifth day that Naruto's eyes opened. His whole body remained still as death, but his eyes flickered open. They weren't the same brilliant blue they once were. They were clouded and dark. It almost appeared as though a gray film covered them. Kakashi had wanted to rush to Naruto's side, but the eyes fell shut. Once again… another day passed by. Now, Tsunade, Shizune and Kakashi felt hope. Naruto had managed to open his eyes. He was in there still. The rain, however, didn't stop. It only got worse. On the sixth day, there was a thunderstorm that wracked the village. People stayed inside and away from the horrible weather.

Tsunade had brought in a few cots for the three of them to sleep on. Kakashi did not admit it aloud… but he was grateful for a regular sleeping position. The three took turns sleeping and watching over Naruto. Once, Kakashi felt Sasuke approaching the room, but then he left. He supposed it was still too much for Sasuke. It was still too much for Kakashi as well. He stared at Naruto. Almost as if he was re-studying him. Naruto's face was ghastly thin, but it looked better than when he first saw the blonde. Bones were easily visible throughout the man's body.

His blonde hair faded and still dirty… Tsunade said that the water could send his body into shock. She had to wait until Naruto was awake to bathe him. Kakashi looked at all of the dirt that covered his body. Covering the sun burnt skin. It almost seemed as if Naruto hadn't actually worn clothing in the last few years. Pain seeped through his chest. The people that tortured the blonde hadn't even given him the courtesy of clothing. Kakashi felt his stomach twist at what else could have been done to Naruto. He almost didn't want to know.

Kakashi stared hard at the whiskered face… willing Naruto to wake up. He struggled to keep his hands from the blonde's body. The other two in the room were adamant that no one touch him yet. They weren't sure how he would respond. Especially, if Naruto were to wake up and find Kakashi all over him. It could cause severe mental trauma for the blonde. So, he sat there and prayed for Naruto to open his eyes. To wake up. To smile at him… anything. He begged for Naruto to wake up. His prayers were answered after another hour. Naruto's eyes slowly and blankly opened… Kakashi's heart stopped when the turned towards him.

Naruto knew this face that looked down at him. The mask… the strange head band that covered his left eye… the silver mop of hair. It wasn't one of the men that had been torturing him. Someone else? Naruto shifts his gaze over towards Tsunade and Shizune. The two women are sleeping. He recognizes those two as well. Who were they? Who is the man that was next to him? And on top of that… where was he? The room looked different from the ones he had been in. Something changed. Something was different. He felt safe. He felt like it was all over and he wouldn't be tortured anymore. He felt free… and so he cried.

What was he to do now? What was he ever to do again? He wanted to die… why didn't he die? His teammates died, so why didn't he? Naruto stares at the ceiling as tears trickle down the sides of his face and onto the pillow. Agonizing remorse and joy flowed through his mind. He was happy to be away from his captives, but he was wishing he had died with his team. A voice reaches his ears… there's a name. Naruto… that's what the other woman had called him. Was that his name? Naruto? Was that who he was? He couldn't remember…

"Naruto…" Kakashi tries again gently. The blonde's eyes shift toward the Hokage curiously. "Naruto, do you remember me?"

A trick question… why is he asking a trick question? Naruto's eyes glazed over and he nods dumbly. Kakashi feels his heart drop from in his chest. Naruto's not in there. He's nodding automatically. What did those people do to him?! Kakashi takes a few deep breaths to keep himself calm. He doesn't want to startle Naruto. The blonde would not do well with anything like that. Kakashi smiles sadly at the blonde.

"Naruto… my name is Hatake Kakashi." Kakashi says softly. "Your name is Uzumaki Naruto… you were my student."

Naruto's eyes focus back in and stare at Kakashi with a cool expression. After the first year with his captors, Naruto had learned to not respond to anything said to him. It only made them more malicious. Kakashi closed his eyes and he slumps forward slightly. The boy had no idea he was safe. He thought he was being tricked. What would he have to do to convince the boy he was okay? That he was with people who loved him? Movement from the other side of the room caught Naruto's attention. Tsunade was sitting up and looking at him.

"Naruto…" Tsunade smiled gently. "You're awake."

The blonde was growing confused. They kept calling him Naruto and the one called Kakashi said it was his name. Was that true? Was he Uzumaki Naruto? Tsunade stood slowly and walked over to them. She moved in the most non-threatening manner she could. One wrong move and it could set Naruto off. Taking careful steps and keeping a gentle smile on her face… she reached the bed. Naruto watches her curiously. He knows the woman. Something about her chest… something about her age… he couldn't really remember. He just knew there was something to those.

"Naruto." Tsunade said softly. "We saved you from those people that captured you. You're going to be okay now."

The words floated through his mind and found a spot to sink in. His face relaxed slightly… he didn't know why. He trusted the woman. He trusted the man beside him. Naruto didn't remember why or who they were, but he trusted them. Kakashi watched the tension in Naruto's face lessen and he smiled. He could… he would come back. The Nanadaime sat back a little in his chair. Naruto's attention shifted toward him once more. He was very attuned to every little movement around him. Probably due to his captors. Kakashi kept his gaze warm and caring. After a moment, Naruto looked down at himself.

He was… healed. Bandages covered several parts of his body, but he knew he was healed. Kyuubi… Kyuubi was awake. Naruto could feel the fox demon stirring from within. He almost welcomed it. Almost… he still cursed the demon for keeping him alive. Naruto lifted one of his thin arms and looked at it in awe. It looked healthier. They must have been taking care of him. They must have. Otherwise, he would have been even thinner. His gaze followed the tubes that went into a small needle in his other arm. They were feeding him intravenously. It felt good to wake up and not feel hungry for once. To not be gasping for water.

"Naruto… do you remember any of us?" Kakashi asked gently, pulling the blonde from his studies. Naruto stared at Kakashi with hard eyes. Was it another trick? "It's okay if you don't… we are just curious. This is not a trick question. I promise."

The men that captured him and constantly tricked him before administering harsh punishments had never voiced their tricks like that. He felt he could believe, but he was afraid to. So many times… so many tricks had brought Naruto to tears of agony. It was hard to trust. So hard… so he nodded his head for yes. Kakashi felt saddened. Naruto was on automatic again. He couldn't trust anyone. Tsunade saw the nod and held back her tears. Naruto didn't remember them. He only answered yes because it was the automatic response. Tsunade closed her eyes and bowed her head.

"Naruto, you should rest. We'll protect you, I promise." Tsunade said softly.

Naruto looked up at Tsunade with a bleary gaze. He felt wide awake, he didn't want to sleep. He wanted to keep an eye on the new people before him. He wanted to know why they looked familiar. He wanted to know who they were. Why he felt that they were trustworthy. After a moment, Naruto nods and closes his eyes. He would just have to observe them with his ears. His hearing had become superb over the last five years. He had been constantly straining to hear things in the beginning. A few months later… he wished he didn't hear as well as he did. The screams of his teammates haunted him.

The girl on his team especially. She had cried out the loudest before her death. Kabuto had been extremely upset that she had died… he took out his frustration on one of the others. He had shoulder length black hair… what was his name? He always looked like he was tired… always appeared lazy. He was the second of his team to die. The second to cry out and fall forward. The last one… he had short black hair and liked to draw. He didn't utter a sound when he died. That man had sheet white skin… Naruto hardly could tell the difference between his living body and his dead body. After the three were gone… Kabuto had focused on the blonde. His ministrations grew more gruesome from then on.

Eventually… Naruto stopped screaming. He stopped caring… he wanted to die. Kabuto had been increasingly upset when the blonde tried to kill himself. That was an unfortunate few weeks… but now… everything was changing. Naruto wished he could remember where he was… who he was. He lay in the bed and listened intently to the movements of those in the room. The blonde listened to them whisper on how to treat him with care. Why would they need to? He was a monster… a demon… worthless. He didn't want to continue after what happened. But the presence that never left the side of his bed… that man, Kakashi. He felt the man's warmth even from a distance.

* * *

… *sobs* I'm so sorry Narutooooo! Kakashiiii! I don't mean to torture you so much… oh well… maybe I do, but not always.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day the sun came out finally. It shined brightly over the storm torn village in order to make amends for it's absence. Naruto was sitting up in the hospital bed… staring at the man in the chair nearby. The man was sleeping. He had been awake all night watching the blonde. Naruto knew he must be tired… he also knew that the windows weren't barred. Strength had returned to his small body. He wanted to leave… to escape… to disappear. Slowly and methodically Naruto removed the needles from his arm. Without so much as a rustling from the blankets and sheets, he stepped onto the floor.

He knew how to be as silent as the dead. He knew how to move and shift without alerting the ears of another person. Unfortunately, no matter how quiet he could be, Kabuto had always had a trap that would catch him. Naruto stepped towards the window… the unlocked, unbarred window. He was able to open it as soundlessly as he moved and slipped through it. The window was shut behind him with the same quiet ease. He looked around himself and saw a large village. This place… it looked like a village he'd seen before… a village he knew.

He saw people. A lot of people. There were ninja and civilians walking around and chatting with each other. Naruto was unsure of this place. He glanced down at himself… he had no shirt… only white pants. That was good enough. He jumped down from the window ledge and landed clumsily on the ground. He wasn't used to moving so much anymore. It would take a while to get his feet again. He walked timidly toward a less populated area. He needed to find a different way out. Some place where no one could see him.

He walked… wobbly and unsure. He reached an open area that was empty of any human presence. He needed a break. He was exhausted from his short walk. Not moving for three years had taken its toll on him. He looked to the side, spotting three stumps that were lined up. Then there was a large stone tablet. It had a symbol carved into it… a symbol he knew, he'd seen. He reached up his thin dark hand and traced the symbol. His finger recognized it… his village. He once had a piece of metal with this symbol on it. He constantly reminded himself that it was his home.

He would trace it blindly with his finger… memorizing it. Naruto said it was who he was loyal to. The place that Kabuto kept asking about. Kabuto always asked about this place. His teammates always refused to give the man anything. He also refused to give him anything. Five years… he traced this symbol. Five years… he remained loyal to the village… loyal to Konoha. Naruto looked at the stone. Names riddled it's surface… names of those that had died. He drifted both of his hands across the names. Reading them and absorbing them. Uchiha Obito… Yondaime Namikaze… Sandaime Sarutobi… Sarutobi Asuma… Nara Shikamaru… Haruno Sakura… ANBU Sai.

There was another name after ANBU Sai… but it had been removed. The blonde leaned his head forward, resting it on the cool stone. It felt good. He decided to rest against the stone… he felt his energy disappear. Naruto settled his back against the coolness. Grimacing at the sun, he tilted his head down and brought his knees up to his chest. He sat there for a long time. No one came near the monument of stone. He was alone for the first time in many years. Kabuto had always been around… or his comrade. His comrade was worse. He was more vicious than Kabuto when it came to making the cut.

"Naruto…?" A voice reached the blonde's ears. His head snapped up, he hadn't felt this person's arrival.

The man that stood before him was tall. He had black hair… black eyes… pale skin. He looked so familiar. He wore a headband with a symbol on it. Naruto knows the symbol is like the one on the stone. It's the symbol of Konoha. So, this man must be from the village. In fact, thinking back… that man at the hospital with the headband over his eye also had the symbol. Were they his allies? Was he really saved? The man took a step forward. Naruto was on his feet quickly, using the stone as a balancer. The man stopped and put his hands up apologetically.

"What's wrong?" The man asked confusedly.

Naruto stared long and hard at the man. He knew this man… but he couldn't place him. Slowly… cautiously… Naruto stepped down from the stone monument. The man stepped forward as well and put his hands down to his side. He saw that Naruto wasn't quite himself. He saw that Naruto was attempting to locate his identity within his mind. So, he tried to make himself as non-threatening as possible. However, he couldn't stop himself from trying to help spark something in the blonde.

"You should be in the hospital resting you clumsy idiot." He said softly.

Naruto's eyes widened just a millimeter… barely noticeable. That phrase… clumsy idiot… he knew that phrase. He'd heard it before. It always upset him when he was called that, didn't it? Naruto looked at the man more carefully. He felt something flicker in the back of his mind. Then it flickered again and became brighter, more prominent. A name shouted throughout his head in his voice. Naruto's voice. It started out in a younger tenor… then it grew… it matured. His voice… the name… Naruto shut his eyes and listened to his crying mind. Sasuke.

His eyes shot open. Memories started to flood back. He remembered locking his memories away and setting up a key for them. It was a simple key… one he was sure could never be used while he was captured. Sasuke… calling him a clumsy idiot. That was what it took to retrieve his memory. Naruto gasped and choked. He stumbled backwards and tripped into the stone monument. Sakura, Shikamaru… Sai! He'd watched them die. Naruto let out a strangled and raspy sob. His voice hadn't been used in so long it sounded like a ragged breath.

"Naruto?!" Sasuke stepped towards the young man. "What happened?!"

Naruto dropped down onto the step of the monument. Tears streamed freely down Naruto's cheeks. He remembered so much now… it tore him apart. His heart was racing and his breathing was uneven and panicked. He wanted to move, but his body wouldn't let him. He wanted to run… run away from his pain. Sasuke reached for the blonde when his hand was grabbed. The Uchiha glanced at who had stopped him to see the Nanadaime. He pulled back and Kakashi released him. Naruto spotted Kakashi and felt shame well up within him. It was so potent that he crawled away to the side of the stone and emptied what little he had in his stomach onto the dirt.

"Naruto!" Kakashi stepped forward, careful not to touch him. He didn't know what was wrong with the boy.

"D…dead…all dead…" Naruto let out a strangled and airy rasp.

Kakashi stopped… was that how he sounded? He could barely recognize any part of the sound that exited Naruto's throat. He would have to have Tsunade check on Naruto's vocal cords and throat. The Nanadaime kneeled down next to Naruto. It killed him not to be able to touch the blonde.

"Naruto… it's okay." Kakashi whispered. "You're safe, remember?"

Naruto hoisted himself up from the ground. He looked over at Kakashi… his teacher… the man he respected the most second only to Jiraiya. He wanted to touch Kakashi… be sure this was all real. Naruto brought his hand out to grasp Kakashi's traditional robe. Kakashi himself froze. Naruto touched the fabric and looked at the silver haired man. It was real… it wasn't a dream… so was he dead? Like Sakura? Like Shikamaru and Sai? Would he see them? The stone his back was still resting on told him no. He was still alive. His cursed life hadn't been extinguished.

"I think he remembers us…" Sasuke utters from behind Kakashi.

"Is that true, do you remember us, Naruto?" Kakashi asks, hope building and bursting from within him.

Naruto nodded. Kakashi smiled so widely that it could be seen through his mask. Naruto stared at Kakashi and Sasuke before his vision blurred. He was exhausted now. The return of his memories was rough on his mind. Naruto's eyelids grew heavy. He leaned his head back… drifting to sleep. Kakashi watched the blonde pass out and sighed. He picked up Naruto gently from the stone. Sasuke stood patiently as the Nanadaime stood with Naruto in his arms.

"Kakashi… are you okay?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm fine…"

"No, you're not…" Sasuke grumbled. "Naruto was pronounced dead four and a half years ago. Now he's back… but he's not the same. I know he's not okay… and I know you're not okay because of it."

"Then why'd you ask in the first place?" Kakashi frowned and walked back to the hospital. "Remember to keep this all to yourself."

"Right." Sasuke watched as his teacher left with the small blonde in his arms.

Kakashi carried the tiny, thin… dangerously light body. He had drifted to sleep for only a moment… just a few seconds. When he'd awoken, Naruto was gone. Panic had entered his blood instantly. He shot out from his seat and started searching for the blonde. For hours, he searched. It was only pure luck that he'd stumbled upon Sasuke and Naruto when he did. He was fortunate that he'd arrived after Naruto had let out his initial sob of grief. It would have torn Kakashi to shreds hearing such a sound. The Nanadaime jumped to the window that entered Naruto's room.

"Kakashi, what happened?!" Tsunade stood, waiting for his return.

"Naruto managed to get out when I nodded off." Kakashi laid the blonde on the bed. "It appears his memory's back."

"Really?" Shizune stepped forward.

"Guess you don't need me, then." Kakashi looked up at Yamanaka Inoichi.

"No, I still think Naruto should have his mind checked." Tsunade stated.

"I agree." Kakashi nodded.

"Alright…" Inoichi stepped forward and performed several hand seals.

The man placed a hand onto Naruto's forehead. When Inoichi closed his eyes he drifted into the young man's mind. There was chaos at first. Entering a person's mind always started off chaotically. Colors, displaced images, sounds, emotions all over the place. When he entered the main area of Naruto's mind it had considerable calmed down. Inoichi walked through the tunnels of water stained walls and rusted doors. This was an unusual mind. Everything looked so dilapidated… Inoichi had never seen anything like this before. He stepped toward another hall and turned down it. That was when he heard it… growling. Inoichi stepped into the bright foreboding room.

He was greeted by a large cage. Ominous chakra leaked from within it. Against the cage lay a blonde man. Inoichi recognized the man to be Naruto's mental self. He walked towards the body only to have menacing, red chakra billow out of the cage. Inoichi jumped back as the chakra takes the form of Kyuubi and remains in front of Naruto. He looked up at the evil fox demon that towered over him.

"What do you want?" The Kyuubi rumbled ominously.

"I'm checking on the boy's mental state." Inoichi said, shoving his hesitation to the side.

"That headband… you're a ninja from Konoha." Kyuubi growled. "Then the boy is safe now…"

"Yes. He was rescued." Inoichi nodded.

"Very well…" Kyuubi's chakra receded back into the cage. "Leave this room… the place you want is down the hall to the left… the black and rusted door with Konoha's symbol."

Inoichi nodded and turned away, heading back down the hall and turning left. As he reached the black and rusted door that Kyuubi spoke of, he felt nervous. Everyone mind he's ever been in has never been laid out quite like this. He wasn't sure what to expect. Most of the time, every mind he'd ventured into looked like their physical mind. He would just find the right nerve containing the information he needed. However, Naruto's mind was set up like a dark and dank building. Inoichi steeled himself and opened the door. What he saw when he stepped through was a surprise.

There was a young child that sat in the center of the room. It looked like Naruto… only feral. It had red eyes and the three whiskers were far more pronounced and… wore no clothing. He grinned a sly grin, eyes closing… he looked like a fox. Inoichi stepped forward and eyed the boy suspiciously. The boy tilted his head slightly and stood from his spot. Suddenly, a large screen began to drop down from the ceiling of the damp room. Inoichi watched it role down curiously. The boy walked over to him and looked up. He was small… looked so young… but those red eyes told Inoichi he wasn't.

"What is it you would like to see, Yamanaka-san?" The boy asked simply.

* * *

I meant to get this posted yesterday, but the Document Manager was down.... so, here it is for you today!

A little lighter… yes… a bit more optimism was thrown in.


	4. Chapter 4

Inoichi gasped… he choked. He had asked the boy within Naruto's mind to show him how the team was captured. Who had done such horrible things to him? The boy complied with a simple vixen grin. The screen was filled with images and sound came to them from all angles. It was like watching a video from Naruto's point of view. The capture was easy to watch, but the deaths of Sakura… then Shikamaru… and Sai. That was difficult. When those three were gone, Naruto was all that was left. Inoichi couldn't watch anymore… could listen. He didn't want to know what else those men did to the boy.

"S-stop. No more!" Inoichi begged the young boy.

"But Yamanaka-san… you wanted to see this." The boy says with a curious grin.

"I don't want to see anymore." Inoichi stepped back and held his queasy stomach.

"Very well." The sounds… the images… they disappeared. All that remained was the boy. "Is there anything else you can trouble me for, Yamanaka-san?"

"One thing…" Inoichi gathered himself as best he could to ask the boy the delicate question. "Did Kabuto or Danzo… do anything to him… sexually?"

The room was suddenly filled with sounds… horrid screams and cries. The sound of Kabuto chuckling mixed in with the sobs. Inoichi blanched. The sounds stopped and he looked down to the young boy. He was still grinning like a vulpine. He didn't seem phased by the sounds or images he had displayed while Inoichi was in there. He didn't seem to be bothered by the torture. He looked like a small, sadistic, fox child. He wasn't anything like what he would expect from Naruto at all. Was this the product of the last five years? Was this how Naruto really was?

"Yamanaka-san… you look appalled by me." The boy stated as if he had heard what he was thinking.

"I'm… not." Inoichi lied the best he could.

"Yamanaka-san, I can promise you this… I have always been here in Naruto's mind as you see me now." The boy uttered.

"Aren't you… bothered by what happened to you?" Inoichi asked.

"I am not bothered by anything. I am merely a librarian." The boy answered. "I am purposefully kept detached from emotions."

"W…why?" Inoichi didn't understand.

"If I had emotions, I wouldn't be in the mental state to have shown you what you wanted." The boy grinned still.

"I… I see." Inoichi nodded dumbly.

"Now that you've seen what you wanted… is there anything else, Yamanaka-san?" The boy tilted his head slightly.

"No. Thank you." Inoichi stepped out from the room.

He closed the door, leaving the grinning fox child behind. He turned and walked down the hallway. He saw someone standing shakily in the hall. They watched him as he walked forward. As Inoichi came closer, the person came into view. It was the form of Naruto that had been unconscious and leaning against Kyuubi's cage. His mind was conscious again. Inoichi stopped in front of the weary looking young man. He seemed curious as to how he could have gotten into his mind. Inoichi looked at Naruto expectantly. However, the boy did not speak.

"What they did to you…" Inoichi started, but Naruto shook his head fervently.

"Don't say anything." Naruto's voice strained out. "I know what happened… I don't need a reminder."

"I'm… I'm sorry, Naruto." Inoichi looked down from the young man.

"Just go… Kyuubi says you've been in here too long." Naruto turned and walked back into the corridor that Kyuubi's cage dwelled.

Inoichi nodded and walked down another corridor. He followed the halls until he reached the exit. He was able to exit Naruto's mind with more ease than he had entered it. Just like every other mind… but that was the only thing about Naruto's mind that was normal. When Inoichi was out of Naruto's mind and back in his own he sighed. Kakashi, Tsunade and Shizune were all standing around him patiently. He looked at the Nanadaime and then back to Naruto.

"So… what's the consensus?" Tsunade finally prompts.

"Naruto's mind is… very different from anyone else's I've ever experienced. It's set up almost like an old dilapidated building." Inoichi muttered. "I saw… not everything… but enough to give me nightmares for a good while. He was tortured pretty viciously. It was Kabuto and Danzo."

"Danzo!?" Shizune gasped.

"So, that's where he ran off to." Tsunade grumbled vehemently.

"There's something else." Inoichi interjected. "Kabuto… he sexually abused Naruto. Only once… but it still happened."

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed in pure anger. He was not happy to have heard that information. However… it was probably for the best. He didn't want to do anything that could ever upset Naruto. He wanted to bring the blonde back out into the sun. He wanted to have Naruto by his side… he wanted to be by Naruto's side. Kakashi settled down close to the bed that the blonde was on. Inoichi placed his hand on his stomach as he prepared to recount some of the things he'd seen. He realized that he probably wouldn't be eating dinner tonight.

The three listened to Inoichi as he recounted the events he'd witnessed. He left out as much detail as he could. He didn't want to upset anyone more than they already were. Kakashi felt sick again. Hearing the things that Inoichi had seen and heard while within the blonde's mind. When Inoichi finished, he cleared his throat and excused himself. Tsunade could see that he was deeply affected by what he'd seen. Inoichi left and went straight to the bathroom to wash his face. It was an unwarranted belief on his part that the cool water would wash away his nausea.

Tsunade stood next to the bed and looked down at the young man forlornly. The man that she had taken under her wing was never going to be the same again. Tsunade was so angry… she wanted revenge. However, the two men… Danzo and Kabuto… were dead, killed by the fury of Kurenai's team. So, she would have to settle with bringing Naruto out of the hole he was thrown into. Tsunade closed her eyes and turned to leave, but was stopped by Kakashi.

"Tsunade…" The Nanadaime looked up at her.

"Hm?" Tsunade looked back towards him.

"Can you… check his vocal cords? His throat?" Kakashi asked raggedly. "For damage."

"His throat… did he sound bad?" Tsunade moved back towards the bed and placed a hand on Naruto's throat.

"He could barely speak." Kakashi whispered.

"I'll see what I can do. It may just be from disuse." Tsunade said.

Kakashi nodded and watched her chakra expand over Naruto's neck. Tsunade checked the throat and vocal cords. Most of the damage was from disuse. Some of it was because he hadn't had anything to drink in a long time. Some was because of screaming too loudly and too often. Kyuubi hadn't healed this yet. Why not? Was it because the Kyuubi didn't know that his throat was hurt as well? Naruto had yet to speak… but when he had… wouldn't Kyuubi have noticed it then? Tsunade pushes a thread of chakra towards the seal, keeping it invisible from Kakashi.

Kyuubi… he was weak. Healing Naruto to the extent he had must have exhausted the demon. He was recuperating inside the blonde. Tsunade felt slightly grateful that the Kyuubi hadn't completely healed Naruto. If he had, Naruto probably would have been gone before Sasuke and Kakashi had found him. He would have never retrieved his memories and been lost to Konoha again. Finished… Tsunade pulled her hand from Naruto's neck. The boy should be fine now… his voice shouldn't be as coarse.

"That should do it." Tsunade said with a small smile.

"Thank you, Tsunade." The two jumped when Naruto spoke softly.

"Naruto!" Tsunade's smile softened.

"Naruto." Kakashi sat up towards the young man.

Naruto sat up and looked between the two. These were the two he felt most comfortable with. Kakashi… his teacher… the one that he respected most. Tsunade… the old lady… like a sister and protector. He also felt uneasy. He'd let his team get killed. He was the only one to survive. He didn't deserve to survive if his team had to die. Naruto looked down at the bed guiltily. He couldn't look at them… he couldn't forgive himself. Kakashi hesitantly brought his hand forward and rested it gently on Naruto's hand. He kept his touch as light and comforting as he could manage. The blonde looked down at the hand almost in awe.

"Everything's alright." Kakashi whispered. "We don't blame you for anything… the village is very happy to have you back."

"In fact, they bought you a new place to live when you're ready." Tsunade smiled.

Naruto nodded… his head down. He didn't deserve such kindness from anyone. Kakashi drifted his fingers across Naruto's hand affectionately. Anything to soothe the blonde. Anything to wipe that self-loathing expression off his face. Naruto watched the hand. Watched the careful motions over his slowly healing skin. He glanced sideways at his teacher… he looked so sad. Tsunade smiled and took the silence as her cue. She turned and quietly left the room to the Nanadaime and Naruto. Kakashi turned his gaze down to the small hand. It was the same size as it was five years ago, just thinner than before.

"I'm glad you're home." Kakashi said softly.

Naruto looked up at the other man before looking back down sadly. Kakashi knew he was feeling guilty. He knew that the blonde was recalling his teammates. It was probably tearing the man up inside. Kakashi tightened his grip ever so slightly and closed his eyes. Naruto jerked at the feeling and turned his eyes toward Kakashi again. He didn't understand… he didn't know what was happening. The Nanadaime opened his eyes and looked up into the dull blue ones before him. The dull blue that had once been so bright, so vibrant. It was sad to see such beautiful eyes so clouded.

"Naruto. I promise I'll protect you. I'll never let you get hurt again." Kakashi whispered.

"Kaka…shi." Naruto choked.

"I was so stupid… I had constantly done so many stupid things concerning you. So many stupid things." Kakashi groaned.

Naruto watched as Kakashi placed his head down onto his lap. It was then that Naruto realized how small he was. How he hadn't grown in the last five years. He was still the size he was when he left. He was sad that everything he'd worked so hard for had gone down the drain. Every day of training… every painstaking day… lost. His long life goal of Hokage… gone. He could never lead the village now. A single tear dripped down his right cheek, pausing only briefly over the whiskers. Kakashi looked up at Naruto and saw the tear. Naruto's eyes looked even more dead than before.

"Naruto?"

"Why didn't I die, too?" Naruto asked more to himself than to Kakashi. "Sakura and Shikamaru and Sai died… but not me."

"Naruto, it's okay." Kakashi held the boy's hand and squeezed it some.

"I watched them die… I saw their dreams die with them." Naruto sobbed.

"Naruto… it's okay… it's okay to mourn them, but it's not your fault." Kakashi wanted to embrace Naruto. He looked so broken. "Never your fault. It was Kabuto and Danzo."

Naruto shuddered and looked down when he heard those names. That was that other man's name. Danzo… it sounded familiar. Wasn't he the one that had Tsunade dismissed from being Godaime? He frowned. That means he was from Konoha… he must have been one of those that hated him. He had always been worse than Kabuto. Always going to extra mile to cause Naruto pain. Now… knowing that Danzo was from Konoha… it hurt him even more. He leaned forward and pulled his knees up towards his chest. He was terribly depressed. Kakashi watched Naruto carefully.

He watched as the blonde began to curl up into himself. The Nanadaime didn't want Naruto to give up. He wanted to comfort him and bring him back out of the hell he was in. Kakashi moved himself onto the bed next to the shivering boy. Gently… slowly… he placed an arm around the small body. The shivering halted almost immediately. Naruto froze. This was a bad move and Kakashi regretted it. He had to make it better… had to fix it. So, Kakashi began to gently and soothingly rub Naruto's back. He did it gently; the boy was still very dirty and had no shirt on.

"How about a bath?" Kakashi asked gently.

"…Okay." Naruto hadn't had a proper bath in the last five years. He was looking forward to it… perhaps he could wash away his pain.

* * *

Oooooooooooh boy. Naruto can talk! Way to go Tsunade!


	5. Chapter 5

The water was warm and cool at the same time. He stared into the tub filled with water… this was the third time it had been filled. He was finally starting to clean up properly… his hair was starting to look better. It had been matted and tinted a dingy brown. Now it looked lighter and the strands were separating and smoothing out. Naruto was always secretly happy that Danzo kept his hair short. A pair of hands massaged through his scalp again. The blonde leaned back… the fingers were gently lathering shampoo through his hair.

Kakashi… Naruto kept repeating the name in his mind. It was the only way he could allow the man to help him. Kakashi… it's Kakashi… not Kabuto… not Danzo. It's Kakashi. It's his teacher… his friend… his Hokage. Something inside of Naruto became tinged with shame. He would never be Hokage. He would never allow himself to be Hokage. It was a distant and now… a non-existent, intangible dream. Water trickled down the sides of his head… down his shoulders, chest and back. Kakashi was rinsing the soap out.

Naruto looked at the water in the tub again… it was sudsy now. Still, it didn't look filthy yet. He was grateful for that. He felt cleaner than he had in five years. Kabuto and Danzo would only toss him into ice cold or… scorching hot water. It was just to keep him clean enough. When too much dirt built up on his body, when too much dried blood covered him… they would douse him. The cold water was used during the cold winters… it was a surprise he'd never died from hypothermia. So, having water that was neither hot nor freezing was a welcome change.

"Feeling any better?" Kakashi asked softly.

The boy nodded. The Nanadaime grabbed for some conditioner and rubbed it into the platinum locks. The sun had bleached Naruto's hair pretty heavily. Kakashi wondered how long it would take for the hair to grow back to the sunny blonde. Mentally… he sighed. He could see the young man's spine through the burnt skin. As Kakashi allowed his eyes to mindlessly stare at Naruto's back, he noticed something. Naruto's skin was lightening… more like… the redness was disappearing. Was Kyuubi healing the boy again?

"Kakashi…?" Naruto noticed that Kakashi's hands had stopped. They were resting on his head… he could feel the Nanadaime staring at him.

"Hm?" Kakashi blinked and pulled his hands from the platinum hair.

No question followed. So, he grabbed the jar he'd used to rinse out the shampoo and filled it with water. He poured it over the conditioned hair. Kakashi stood up and walked over to a small stand that held towels. He grabbed one and turned. Naruto sat in the tub… staring sadly at water in the tub. Kakashi stepped forward and crouched down next to the porcelain bowl that Naruto was in. He pulled the plug and water started to drain out. The blonde watched as the water began disappearing and looked up at Kakashi. He wasn't sure why, but sitting in the bathtub… naked… in front of this man… embarrassed him.

Naruto had never been bothered all that much with lack of clothing around Kabuto and Danzo. His clothes had been stripped from him only a day after his team was captured. At first, Sakura was beside herself… locked in a room naked with Shikamaru, Naruto and Sai. After a month… she didn't care. None of them cared. They were too tired… in too much pain. Naruto shuddered subconsciously and closed his eyes. Kakashi watched him closely. He realized that the blonde was embarrassed. Was it because he was naked? Kakashi frowned briefly… he held the towel open. Purposely hiding Naruto's lower body from his line of sight.

"Here, time to dry off, Naruto." Kakashi smiled gently.

Naruto looked up and saw the towel hiding his body. He shifted his dull blue eyes up towards Kakashi. The man was smiling, his one visible eye shut. Naruto relaxed and stood from his spot… Kakashi heard the movement and rose as well. The blonde took the towel from Kakashi's extended hands… he could dry himself. Naruto wrapped the towel around himself and gingerly stepped out of the tub.

"Thank you…" Naruto mumbled.

"You're welcome, Naruto." Kakashi turned away to give Naruto privacy.

The moment his back was to the young man… Kakashi frowned again. His hands itched… they burned… they ached. He wanted so badly to embrace the blonde. He wanted to tell Naruto that there was nothing to worry about. He would be safe, protected… loved. Sound ceased to reach Kakashi's ears. No moving of fabric. Kakashi slowly peered over his shoulder. Naruto was standing stark still… staring at him. Those clouded eyes were studying him… taking in every square inch of the Nanadaime. Kakashi saw that he had dressed himself.

It was fascinating… how did the blonde managed to dry and dress himself so quickly? He was even more shocked that Naruto had dressed himself and Kakashi hadn't even noticed the change in sound of fabric. The blonde stood before him in a pair of white pants and a white t-shirt… staring at Kakashi unwaveringly. Then Naruto took a tentative step toward the Nanadaime. When the young man saw that Kakashi didn't strike him down for such a bold move… he took another step. And another more hesitant step. Naruto hadn't been struck down yet… but could Kakashi be trying to bring him closer before administering punishment?

Kakashi kept himself non-threatening. He waited to see what the blonde would do. The Nanadaime was curious what Naruto was doing. He didn't want to do anything to stop the young man. This could be considered progress to some extent. Soon, Naruto was only a foot away from Kakashi. The blonde looked up at Kakashi… warily. The Nanadaime smiled the most encouraging smile he could. It almost faltered when Naruto flinched at the movement. He was expecting a slap… a kick… a punch. Nothing… just a smile that told him it was all okay. That was all he needed… all he could handle.

Naruto stepped back and moved towards the door toward the hallway. Kakashi's smile stayed, but softened slightly. He had hoped Naruto would be daring enough to touch him. Apparently, it was still too soon. So, he followed the wobbly blonde out of the bathrooms. When they exited into the primary hospital hallway… several people came running up to Naruto. This frightened the young man. He stumbled back… they were coming to take him away! Visions of Danzo and Kabuto chasing him down the few times he had tried to escape obstructed Naruto's vision. He felt his body fall backwards.

"Naruto!" Kakashi rushed forward and caught the tumbling man.

He looked up to the people that were coming forward. Kakashi glared… it was Gai and his team. Lee was looking extra energetic… Gai looked positively wired. Neji and TenTen, while much more calm, were bursting with internal excitement. Naruto's vision cleared. He felt warm, comforting arms holding him up from the ground. It was Kakashi. He said he'd protect him… those people… Kakashi wouldn't let them take him away, right? He promised. Naruto struggled to regain his bearings and Kakashi assisted him the best he could. Once the blonde was on his feet, he pressed his back into Kakashi as much as he could without melding their bodies.

"Naruto-kun! Welcome home! We look forward to your youthful return!" Gai shouted at the terrified young man.

"I cannot wait until we can share the springtime sweat of youth once again!" Lee chorused.

"Welcome home, Naruto." TenTen smiled warmly.

The three looked expectantly at Neji to speak… but he said nothing. Neji saw what they had missed. Naruto was shaking… staring at them with dead and terrified eyes. His body was small and tortured. He was not well. Neji bowed his head to Naruto and Kakashi.

"My apologies… Naruto." Neji said softly. "We didn't mean to frighten you."

"Huh?" TenTen gaped at Neji before turning her gaze to the shaking man.

Gai and Lee turned as well and their expressions changed. They hadn't immediately noticed Naruto's appearance. Their happiness at the young man's return had clouded them. Naturally, Neji had spotted it before any of them. He always had a way of seeing things before anyone else. Gai and Lee looked especially guilty… they shrunk back at Kakashi's heated glare. Naruto kept himself pinned against Kakashi… it was the only thing that made him feel safe. His eyes were filled with Danzo and Kabuto again… filled with their sneering faces. He couldn't see anything else.

"N… no more… n-no…" Naruto gasped out.

"Naruto, it's okay." Kakashi whispered to the blonde that glued himself to his chest.

He rubbed the blonde's shoulders and continued to ease the blonde any way he could. So much for progress. This would probably set the blonde back again. It seemed like he was having flashbacks. The empty stare… the mindless speaking… the uncontrollable shaking. Kakashi grimaced. He would lay into Gai about this later. When he was comfortable with leaving Naruto alone. For now, he would have to calm the blonde. Kakashi tried to move them, but Naruto managed to stick himself to the ground somehow. The Nanadaime sighed and rubbed the boy's shoulders again.

"I… can't." Naruto sobbed out.

"Naruto, you're safe, remember? I won't let anyone hurt you." Kakashi whispered into Naruto's ear. "You're okay."

"No…" Naruto looked back at Kakashi, his eyes focusing on him. "I… can't move…"

"Oh…" Kakashi felt rather stupid… of course the boy was referring to his inability to move.

"We'll leave, Nanadaime-sama." Neji said. "I apologize again, Naruto."

Naruto looked over at the group. He remembered all of them. He felt guilty… he made them upset. He made them upset with him. Naruto looked down in shame. They hated him. Everyone hated him… he had let his teammates die. He was the only survivor. He was the only one to escape. How could they not hate him for that? Kakashi probably hated him too. He was only being nice because he wanted to trick him. Naruto closed his eyes. He was worthless… he was shameful… he held Kyuubi within him… he let his team die. Something snapped within the blonde.

Kakashi's eyes widened when Naruto was shaking more violently. He wrapped his arms around Naruto. This had to stop… he had to stop Naruto's panic attack. He had to protect the blonde. Naruto was panting now. Gasping for air. Kakashi kept whispering calmly words to the blonde. Trying his best to regain the blonde's attention. Kakashi glanced up briefly, Gai's team hadn't left. They were watching Naruto worriedly. Neji looked like he wanted to drag them away, but that would only cause more problems. Then… Naruto bolted.

* * *

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK… Naruto ran away. O.o

I love all of your reviews! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!! I love you allllllllllllllllllll so very much!!


	6. Chapter 6

Kakashi was absolutely shocked. He didn't expect the blonde to be able to run so fast. To even act so rashly. Naruto had been testing everything timidly. Like dipping a toe into the water several times before jumping in. Kakashi jerked his body forward and took off after the blonde. He could hear Gai's team call out behind him, but he couldn't stop. He had to catch Naruto… he had to catch the young man and calm him down. Naruto was so far ahead of him already… heading for the woods. He cursed his momentary shock and tried vainly to catch up with the young man.

The boy was so fast. He tried so hard… so very hard. Every three steps Kakashi took, Naruto took seven. It was surprising that the blonde was able to maneuver through the trees and branches so easily. He had expected Naruto be fumble about for a little while longer. Then Naruto took a leap… Kakashi's heart fell. The boy must remember the layout of the village. There was a slippery rock ravine where Naruto jumped. Kakashi used one last burst of speed and arrived at the ravine. He looked down… nothing. Where was he? Where'd he fall? Where'd he land? Where?

Kakashi couldn't see Naruto… he couldn't sense Naruto. Where did he go? The Nanadaime couldn't take it. He didn't want to lose the boy again. Stupidly… Kakashi stepped onto the slippery rocks. He lost his footing almost instantly. He began to fall… as he felt his body give in to gravity. He wondered if he would at least see Naruto. Kakashi closed his eyes… he wouldn't stop himself. Then again… he didn't need to stop himself. The Nanadaime opened his eyes widely as he felt a thin hand holding onto his. He looked up and saw the young man he'd been chasing. He must have hidden himself under a rock… but that means Naruto's chakra manipulation was better than his.

"Kakashi…" Naruto said breathlessly.

"Nice catch, Naruto." Kakashi smiled brightly… the blonde shifted and he could see the strain.

Kakashi used several kunai and threw them into the rock. Naruto watched and slowly edged towards the wall. Kakashi felt relieved Naruto had caught on to what he wanted to do instead of dropping him. This would remove the strain of holding up the Nanadaime's body. Kakashi grabbed hold of the kunai in the wall and began to hoist himself up. Naruto sat on the rocks. Once Kakashi was back on the grassy ground above, he looked down for Naruto. The blonde hadn't left his spot… he just sat and stared up at Kakashi. So, the Nanadaime sat on the edge and looked down at Naruto curiously.

"Aren't you going to come up?" Kakashi asked softly. Naruto winced and immediately reached for the kunai… he was taking the question as an order. "Only if you want to, Naruto… you don't have to come up if you don't want to."

"Stop it." Naruto whispered and leaned against the wet rocks.

"Naruto?" Kakashi leaned forward a little.

"Stop trying to trick me… I know you hate me… everyone hates me." Naruto said quietly.

"Trick you?" Kakashi sighed dejectedly. "I'm not trying to trick you… and no one hates you, Naruto."

"Yes! Everyone hates me! I let them die! I watched Sakura and Shikamaru and Sai die!" Naruto sobbed. "Everyone hates me… they should hate me! Why did I survive?! Why didn't I die too?!"

"Naruto…" Kakashi's heart ached at the words.

"I'm so ashamed… I'm so worthless." Naruto clung to the rocks in a desperate attempt to comfort himself.

"Naruto, you're not worthless. No one hates you for surviving." Kakashi said evenly. "You've always had a knack for living through the worst circumstances."

"I hate it… I should've died. I should've died with my teammates." Naruto said.

"No… you need to live." Kakashi climbed back down the kunai… he had a dreadful feeling that Naruto would do something stupid. "Honor their lives by living… remembering them."

"There's no honor being remembered by me." Naruto spat.

"Naruto!" Kakashi couldn't take it… he raised his voice slightly at the blonde. "You are alive. So, live."

Naruto looked at Kakashi. The man hadn't so much as spoken to him in a normal voice much less yell at him. He was expecting to see hatred… anger… disgust. Yet, when he looked at Kakashi… there was only hope and an extended hand. Naruto looked at the man searchingly. Why was he so determined to help Naruto? Why did he chase him and tell him to live? Why did he say no one hated him? Kakashi. His teacher… his Hokage… his friend. Naruto reached a hand out and took the man's. Kakashi smiled again and pulled the blonde up from the rock and onto his back.

Kakashi climbed back up the kunai and onto the grass above. Naruto let go and stood behind the Nanadaime. He turned his head down and waited for the silver haired man to lead them back to Konoha. Kakashi looked back at the blonde and reached his hand out… gripping Naruto's gently. Naruto looked at their hands in surprise. No one had ever wanted to hold his hand… not even before he'd become a ninja. No one touched him if the didn't have to. Sure… his friends were okay with it… but they didn't know what and who he was. Naruto didn't know what to think of anything.

Kakashi turned away and started to lead Naruto back to the village. Naruto followed quietly… the only thing letting Kakashi know the blonde was there was his hand. It was rather unnerving that Naruto could be so dead silent. The Nanadaime wanted him to be loud and bouncing off the walls. He wanted Naruto to feel comfortable… to feel happy and to feel safe. It was a ways off. Kakashi knew that it would be a long time before Naruto was anything close to normal. Once they reached the village, Tsunade approached them. Naruto looked up at the former Hokage with interest.

"Well… judging by the way you ran… I think that you can go live in your new home." Tsunade was smiling.

She had been on her way to see the blonde when he'd burst from the hospital's doors. Tsunade almost went after him, but Kakashi emerged as well. The woman stopped in her tracks and decided that waiting was best. She believed that Kakashi would be the best person to calm whatever startled the boy. Sure enough, a very guilty looking team Gai came from the hospital. They told her that it was their fault Naruto had gotten spooked. Tsunade was furious and gave Gai a fairly decent concussion. Lee got off a little easier, but was still being check on be a nurse. TenTen knew when to run and had escaped. Neji, on the other hand, was uninjured because he'd done nothing.

"Tsunade-san." Kakashi wasn't so sure about that.

"Kakashi, if you're so worried… you can always live there with him." Tsunade said off-handedly.

Naruto looked at the key that rested in Tsunade's hand. She had pulled it out of a pocket in her coat and was presenting it to her. Several villagers that had heard the commotion were standing nearby. Naruto could feel their gazes… their eyes… but there was no disdain or hate. They all looked hopeful. So as not to upset anymore people, Naruto reached out and took the key timidly. He could feel the pride and joy that filled the atmosphere. It surrounded him like warm blankets. It felt good. He felt lighter than before.

"Thank… you." Naruto looked at the key that now rested in his own hand. "I don't deserve it… but thank you."

"Of course you deserve it Naruto." Tsunade said with a warm smile. "You even deserve so much more."

Kakashi smiled at the softened look on Naruto's face. The villagers were standing near them and smiling as well. However, Kakashi wasn't sure that the blonde was quite ready to meet with too many people at once. He pulled the boy close and led him with Tsunade toward the home the villagers purchased. The home was subtle… but it was definitely reminiscent of Naruto's bubbly personality. The home was a light grayish white with red trimmings. There was an unusual orange and yellow door that was used. The blonde went up to it, not letting go of Kakashi… he was the boy's lifeline now.

Naruto held up the key and pushed it into the lock… turning it. He opened the door and stepped in… Kakashi tagging along. It was furnished simply. Giving Naruto a starting point. He could add whatever other decorations he wanted. Tsunade had been a little eager to see the home that the villagers had purchased for the blonde. When she stepped in, a smile formed. It was a perfect home for the young man. Not too big… not nearly as small as his old apartment… it was perfect. There was even a spare room that Kakashi would probably be staying in. Tsunade gave it a mental passing grade.

She turned and walked to where Naruto stood… there was a picture of Team 7 sitting on a table. A note was there. Kakashi's hand reached out and halted Tsunade. Naruto stared at the note… the picture… Sakura. He felt mildly panicked… the note had Naruto's name on it. Slowly… he picked up the note and turned it over. The Uchiha symbol was on it… Sasuke left the letter. Would this be telling him how much the Uchiha despised him? Naruto opened the letter cautiously and read it. It was a simple note. "Welcome home, Naruto." The blonde felt a tear escape his eye. He turned back towards Tsunade and Kakashi. They were waiting so patiently… they looked at his so affectionately.

* * *

It's been one year since Naruto came back to the village. Hardly anyone had seen him… those who had knew that the progression in Naruto's mental state was still slow. The boy lived in his house and accepted very few guests. The lucky few that managed to see Naruto were; Kakashi, Tsunade, Shizune, Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, and Kurenai. Even Yamato had stopped by to visit the blonde… unfortunately, that visit didn't go well. He mistakenly sneaked up on the Naruto and the blonde had a massive panic attack. Kakashi literally threw Yamato out of the home.

Over the months, Naruto had become a little more relaxed, but only around Kakashi. He'd even managed a smiled… that smile happened on the day after the one year anniversary of Naruto's rescue. Kakashi had come home from a long day of signing papers and listening to reports. He saw the blonde sitting on the couch in the living room like always. Everyday he came home; the boy was sitting and waiting for him. He still hadn't grown an inch. He was just as small as he was when he returned… but he looked healthier. His bones no longer stuck out… his skin glowed healthily… his hair was a more yellow blonde. Even Naruto's eyes were brighter than before.

At first glance, Naruto looked well. Unfortunately, that was not the case when you sat down to talk with him. Naruto rarely spoke unless Kakashi initiated a conversation. When he did speak, it was soft and hardly audible. He didn't like to look people in the eye. Almost always, Naruto would hide himself behind Kakashi or Tsunade. He'd also never smiled… not once… not until that day. Kakashi walked up to the young man. Naruto looks in Kakashi's direction before turning his gaze back to the coffee table.

"It's been one year since you came home, Naruto." Kakashi smiled at the blonde.

"I know… Kakashi." Naruto said softly and then it happened.

Kakashi gawked openly… Naruto's lips curved upwards. It was slight, but it was obvious enough. He looked over at the Nanadaime… the smiling broadly, Nanadaime. Naruto was surprised to see Kakashi giving him such a bright look. Kakashi had been hoping for something to happen. Something positive. This was all he needed. Kakashi leaned forward and hugged the young man. Naruto stiffened; he still wasn't used to touching, but he had told Kakashi to help him grow accustomed to it. Naruto slowly… very slowly… relaxed into the embrace.

"You smiled…" Kakashi said happily. "You finally smiled."

* * *

Ahahaha…. Time skip. I know, you're probably pissed. But trust me; you didn't miss much over that year. Naruto hasn't recuperated too much. I just don't think you want me to go through every single day… and I know I don't want to! XD

I'll update again soon!


	7. Chapter 7

That smile was the renewing source of energy that Kakashi had been needing over the last year. Seeing it on Naruto's lips was more than good… it was fantastic. That meant that Naruto made a new leap forward. It gave Kakashi some comfort knowing that there was still hope. He held onto the small blonde… pushing down the urge to pull him into his lap. It was difficult… living with Naruto. Kakashi adored the boy, but he wasn't able to show his adoration for fear of scaring him. The Nanadaime had to settle with simple hugs… and now a smile.

"Kakashi?" The Nanadaime blinked out of his reverie when he heard his name spoken by Naruto.

"Yes?" Kakashi glanced down to the blonde.

"I… I'm glad you're home." Naruto said softly… almost too softly to hear.

"Me too…" Kakashi smiled.

Naruto could hear the smile in Kakashi's voice. It gave him a sense of happiness that he rarely felt. Whenever he could make Kakashi smile or happy… it made Naruto happy. He wanted to keep everyone happy, of course, but Kakashi had given him so much since he'd returned to Konoha. He couldn't help wanting to make his teacher smile. He knew that Kakashi wanted to hold him more… he could feel it in the silver haired man's muscles. They flexed and contracted… trying vainly to restrain themselves.

The blonde learned a lot about Kakashi through his muscles. He knew when Kakashi was angry, sad, happy… and sexually frustrated. He could tell just by one movement of the Nanadaime's muscles. This time… Naruto wanted to do more for his teacher. He wanted to show that Kakashi wasn't wasting his time. So… slowly and purposefully… the blonde reached his arms around the man. His hands gripped onto Kakashi's Hokage robes and held fast. Kakashi's eyes widened at the feeling.

Naruto had never returned any of the embraces Kakashi gave. He usually sat and waited for it to be over. A smile… a hug… Kakashi's heart felt like it would burst wide open. It hurt, but it felt so good. Feeling Naruto's body lean into his and return the embrace… it was more than Kakashi could ask for. He strengthened his grip on the small blonde subconsciously pulling the blonde closer. Naruto felt how happy Kakashi was. He felt the arms around him tighten. Instead of panicking like the last time this happened, Naruto forced himself to relax.

"Naruto…" Kakashi breathed into the blonde hair.

The young man felt his skin prickle and remembered the sensation. Goosebumps… Kakashi was giving him Goosebumps. Naruto felt embarrassment flare up within him. To allow such a reaction was not something Naruto appreciated. He was scared that Kakashi would take it the wrong way. Last time Naruto shivered when Kakashi hugged him… Kakashi didn't want to touch him again. The blonde had to convince his teacher to continue embracing him. It took a lot of courage on both their parts.

"You're getting better… aren't you?" Kakashi whispered.

"Yes…" Naruto answered.

"I'm glad." Kakashi daringly pulled the Naruto even closer to him.

Naruto closed his eyes, willing himself to allow Kakashi to hold him. Willing himself not to panic… not to pull away… to run. It hurt his teacher when he ran. It hurt everyone when he'd run and hide. He had to stop. He had to get better. Even if he still wouldn't be able to be a ninja anymore. He still had to get better. Even if his hands were still too shaky to properly throw kunai. He had to get better… for everyone. For himself… he had to get better for himself. He was tired of being scared of everyone and loud sounds. He wanted to be back to his normal self. He wanted to see everyone smile and he wanted to laugh with them. It was just… so hard.

Kakashi was the only one that he could relax around. He didn't know why though. It was unusual to feel so secure around the Nanadaime when he eyed Sasuke warily all the time. Why was there such a difference between his feelings for Kakashi and everyone else? He even trusted Kakashi over Tsunade. What was it about the man that made him so comfortable? Naruto's thoughts halted when he felt masked lips press against the left temple of his forehead. Was Kakashi kissing him? Naruto looked up as the lips left his forehead. Kakashi looked down at him with a serene smile under his mask. That ever present mask… Naruto hated that mask.

"Kakashi…?" Naruto wanted so badly to ask.

"What?"

"I… don't like that mask." Naruto uttered hesitantly.

"My mask?" Kakashi sat up and pulled himself from the embrace.

"I… want…" Naruto frowned.

He couldn't think of how to verbalize what he wanted. Naruto was also scared that he could be overstepping his boundaries. Kakashi would probably refuse him immediately. Telling him that he'd just have to live with the mask because it was apart of him. Naruto looked down… he couldn't ask. No matter how much Naruto thought he had improved. No matter how much he hated that mask. He couldn't ask. He just couldn't bring himself to ask Kakashi to remove it. He just couldn't.

The Nanadaime watched Naruto suddenly recede into himself. Kakashi's previous joy disappeared and was replaced with worry. Naruto's eyes flickered over the mask Kakashi wore before looking away unhappily. That's when it dawned on the man. The silver haired man knew that Naruto wanted his mask off. He apparently didn't like the mask he was always wearing. Kakashi sighed quietly. He'd never removed his mask for anyone other than his own father. Even then… he rarely did it. It just wasn't something that Kakashi liked to do. The mask was so much apart of him.

He felt naked without the mask… the only time he removed it was to shower and sleep. However, looking at the discomfort that Naruto was displaying… he considered it seriously. Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at the white ceiling. Should he remove the mask when around Naruto? As he pondered this, Naruto stood and walked into the kitchen. Kakashi watched him and frowned. This was something he didn't want to do… but then again… he did want to. He knew he would have had to if he ever wanted to actually kiss someone he loved… so he knew he would have to for Naruto.

Kakashi stood from the couch and padded into the kitchen. Naruto was looking through the refrigerator for something to make for their dinner. The Nanadaime smiled. Naruto was actually very good at cooking and he was grateful that it wasn't always ramen. He supposed that had something to do with raising yourself from the beginning. Even Kakashi knew how to cook decently. He walked up behind the blonde and shut the refrigerator… turning the blonde to face him. Naruto blinked confusedly… looking up at his teacher curiously.

"If you want my mask off…" Kakashi said with a smile. "Take it off of me."

Naruto's mouth fell open. Kakashi was giving him an opportunity again. He always did this to open up Naruto. To try and lull him into self-confidence. It was a rare occurrence. When it did happen… Naruto usually passed it up. He just couldn't do it. It always disappointed Kakashi, even if he didn't show it. This time, Naruto didn't want to disappoint him. Especially, since he definitely wanted the mask off. So, Naruto reached up… his hands shaking. His hands gripped the mask and tugged gently. The mask slid with his pull and Kakashi did nothing to stop him.

It was difficult not to, though. Naruto could feel Kakashi's jaw clench as he tried not to stop the mask from coming off. It was then that Naruto noticed how difficult it was for both of them. Not just him. Kakashi was fighting the urge to stop Naruto… Naruto was fighting the urge to stop. Finally, Kakashi felt the mask come off completely. Naruto stared at the face… it was surprising to see his teacher without it. Yet, he still looked just like Kakashi. There's no one else that could ever look like him. He wasn't amazingly handsome… he wasn't ordinary… he was Kakashi.

"You… I like you're face." Naruto muttered sheepishly and pulled his hands away from the mask.

"I suppose that's a good thing considering that I won't wear my mask around you now." Kakashi smiled.

It was ten times more powerful than with the mask. Naruto looked away and turned back towards the refrigerator… opening it again. Kakashi sat down at the table that was nestled in the kitchen's center. His hand rubbed his face listlessly as he watched Naruto. This was going to take some getting used to. Releasing the security of his mask was something he'd never done willingly. Naruto stood at the counter, cutting up beef for the stew that he was making. His mind was wandering to the man that sat behind him. It wandered so far that he didn't even feel the knife slice his finger.

He didn't notice it until he looked down at the meat and prepared to pick it up. Naruto blinked and pulled his hand from the meat… quickly turning towards the sink. Kakashi watched the sudden movement and furrowed his brows. What happened? Naruto rinsed the small cut. He hoped Kakashi was stay seated… he didn't want to worry the man. Naruto used soap and cleansed the cut. Kakashi stood from his seat and moved behind the blonde. The Nanadaime spotted the blood and grabbed his hand. Naruto let out a soft sob of apology and hung his head.

"I'm glad it's just a small cut." Kakashi sighed in relief as he helped take care of the wound. "You can tell me when you're hurt, Naruto."

"Okay…" Naruto strained out shamefully.

Kakashi put a small bandage around Naruto's finger and rubbed the blonde's back. Naruto turned his gaze to the ruined meat and grimaced. He ruined it. Naruto moved over toward the cutting board, but was stopped. Kakashi smiled down at the blonde gently. He grabbed the cutting board and held it away from the young man.

"I'll finish up dinner tonight." Kakashi stated.

"Okay." Naruto nodded and moved to sit at the table when there was a knock at the front door.

Naruto stopped dead at the sound. Kakashi watched the blonde's reaction closely. When the young man didn't seem to be frightened… he figured that he should ask Naruto to answer the door. Naruto looked at Kakashi with a very light and brave smile. The Nanadaime blinked… he didn't have to ask, Naruto wanted to answer it. He nodded to the blonde and the blonde left the kitchen. Just in case, Kakashi slipped his mask back on if Naruto invited the person into the home. He heard the front door open and a voice talking to the blonde. It sounded like Sasuke… Kakashi turned toward the pot Naruto was making the stew in. All he'd have to add was the meat. He grinned… Naruto was really quick when it was least expected. A thump. Kakashi froze. He turned towards the kitchen door and strained his ears… what was that?

"Kakashi!" Naruto's voice… Kakashi was at the blonde's side instantly.

"What is it?" Kakashi kneeled next to the crumpled heap of Naruto.

"Iruka…sensei…" Naruto had tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Iruka?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto looked up at Kakashi in agony. The blonde had yet to see Iruka. Iruka was constantly busy with teaching and missions. He'd recently become a Jounin… there were so few Jounin that Kakashi had practically run him down with missions. Then again… he'd run all the Jounin and Chuunin down the last four years. Even the Genin were getting more missions than ever. So, Naruto had been itching to see Iruka… but never voiced it. Kakashi's heart sank. Naruto's pain was seeping out of his shaking body. Kakashi placed a tentative hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Naruto choked lightly and fell forward into him. Kakashi felt the blonde cling to him. That clarified everything. The Nanadaime looked up to the person still standing on the front stair. Sasuke was looking down sadly. He knew how much Naruto had always loved Iruka like a brother. Sasuke also knew that Naruto hadn't gotten to see Iruka since his return. The news he'd brought was painful… but he didn't want just anyone to tell the blonde. Kakashi frowned more. Naruto's cries increased… he could feel Kakashi's realization of what happened. It just made it hurt more.

"Sasuke…?" Kakashi waited impatiently. "Is Iruka?"

"Yes… Iruka-sensei died on the last mission." Sasuke closed his eyes.

* * *

C'mon… noooooo one even bothered to ask why Iruka wasn't on the list of visitors in the last chapter?! *gasp* I slipped in a fast one! Gawd... I feel like I should be slapped for what I'm doing to Naruto...

LOVE YOU ALL!


	8. Chapter 8

The day of Iruka's funeral came fast… almost too fast. The day wasn't rainy like people believed it should have been. There was not a cloud in the sky in fact. The sun was shining happily; completely undisturbed by the goings on of the humans below. Birds were chirping and dogs were barking. It seemed like a regular day. No one could believe that they were going to a funeral for one of the most beloved ninja teachers in Konoha. Even Iruka's Genin team was at a loss for words. Students… Genin… Chuunin… Jounin alike all filed into the stone courtyard.

Kakashi had been unsure of Naruto when he found out only two days before that his brother-like teacher had died. He could see the guilt… the shame… the agony drowning the blonde. He didn't know what to do about it and Naruto grew distant. Even with him. Tsunade had taken care of the preparations of the funeral so Kakashi could concentrate on the unstable young man. After a long silence that had filled the home the two men resided in… Naruto came to Kakashi.

He wanted to go to the funeral. Of course, the Nanadaime understood that the blonde wanted to go. However, Naruto wasn't exactly in good shape to attend such an event. The young man could see Kakashi thinking. Naruto saw the wheels whirling around and around. Not stopping once. He wanted to go to the funeral… he had to go to the funeral. The Nanadaime eventually sighed and looked down at the blonde. Those dull blue eyes… they were begging him. Kakashi could see what little brightness those eyes had gained retreating.

Eventually… Kakashi gave in. Now the two were in the stone courtyard with other ninja. Naruto had clasped onto Kakashi's arm subconsciously when they came closer to the gathering of mourners. He was very uncertain with seeing so many ninja. Even though Naruto knew that Kabuto and Danzo were dead… he was scared. He was still so scared. So, he did the only thing he knew of… grabbed Kakashi. The Nanadaime was his protector after all. Kakashi would protect him… he wouldn't let anything happen to him.

The silver haired man looked down at the wary blonde and chuckled softly. The boy had this look of a terrified fox caught in a trap on his face. It was rather endearing to the Nanadaime. Unfortunately… he couldn't stay by the blonde's side through the entire funeral. He was required to stand in front of the crowd and give a small speech. Kakashi was never very good at speeches… he found them rather useless actually. There was nothing he could say that would be appropriate for grieving everyone… someone would be bound to dislike his word choice.

Tsunade walked up to Kakashi and Naruto; looking increasingly depressed. She would stand next to Naruto while Kakashi stood in front of the crowd. Tsunade was second in Naruto's small circle of trust. While Kakashi stood at Naruto's right… and was the blonde's primary source of protection. Tsunade stood on Naruto's left and was the blonde's primary source of encouragement and understanding. In all reality... Naruto didn't need anyone other than these two. They were his crucial support system. No one could reach the blonde the way Tsunade and Kakashi did.

Kakashi nodded to Tsunade gratefully… respectfully. He extracted his arm from Naruto's tight grip gently and patted the blonde crown of hair. The young man watched as Kakashi walked up to the front of the crowd slowly. Tsunade held her hand out to the blonde and smiled when he immediately latched onto it. Naruto was still uncertain of crowds… of people. He stood close to Tsunade… she held his hand securely. Attempting to give him some peace of mind while his protector was absent.

Kakashi reached his appointed speaking spot and turned to face the crowd. Many of the ninjas eyes were focused… not on him… not on Iruka's casket… but on Naruto. They were all surprised… happy… awestruck. The blonde had been hiding out in the house that the village bought him. Not many of them had seen Naruto since his return. They looked warmly at the now legendary Naruto. Kakashi smiled… they were proud of the blonde. The ninja that had taken down Uchiha Madara… very few knew the full story behind what happened.

Those who did… believed it. Only Naruto could have pulled off something so miraculous. The blonde was something else. He always managed to make it through anything. This time however… Kakashi didn't see any hope for Naruto to return to being a ninja. Neither did Tsunade. Neither did Shizune. The boy could possibly make a full recovery mentally… but physically… it was impossible. Naruto's hands shook. It was something that Kyuubi couldn't heal and Tsunade couldn't figure out. Whenever Naruto tried to hold something steady… his hands shook.

Kakashi cleared his throat and closed his eyes. This would be difficult. The crowd heard the quiet movements and attention catching sounds from their Hokage and shifted their gaze to him. The Nanadaime looked over all of them… trying to think of just what he should say to them. Just what could possibly be worthy of being said about Umino Iruka? Kakashi thought back on what he'd heard about the man… what could he say. Then… he came to him. Naruto had always spoken highly of Iruka… this is what he needed.

"Umino Iruka… wasn't just a ninja of Konoha…" Kakashi started gently. The crowd was hanging on his every word. "He was a comrade… a teacher… and a brother. So, let's send our prayers up for Iruka."

Kakashi bowed his head and shut his eyes… the crowd also bowed their heads and shut their eyes… Tsunade, Shizune and Naruto did as well. The blonde allowed his tears to fall freely. Kakashi was right… Iruka had been more to many of them than just a ninja. Naruto felt the loss of a brother. The former rookie nine that had reached astounding feats felt the loss of a teacher. Tsuande felt the loss of a comrade. Kakashi felt the loss of a comrade. Everyone felt that they lost more than just a fellow ninja. Kakashi had found the perfect thing to say… no one would be upset with his speech.

The Nanadaime returned to Naruto's side… the blonde kept his hold on Tsunade until the man was directly next to him. Ninjas walked up one by one to pay their respects to Iruka. They also waved and nodded to Naruto… but the blonde was too stiff to respond. He could only watch curiously and cautiously as they all left. Eventually… just Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, and Kurenai remained. The blonde felt just comfortable enough to let go of Kakashi and move the five feet over to pay his respects.

The other stood and watched. Naruto stood for a very long time… crying. He was so embarrassed that he hadn't made sure to see Iruka… so ashamed. Naruto's knees twitched; threatening to give out. He took a deep breath and looked back at Kakashi pleadingly. The Nanadaime instantly understood and moved forward to provide physical support. The blonde leaned back into the silver haired man. Arms stretched around Naruto's small, shivering frame. Kakashi held him close and placed his chin in the crook of Naruto's neck.

"Kakashi… I… wanna go home." Naruto whispered.

"Alright, Naruto." Kakashi nodded.

The Nanadaime steadied the blonde before taking hold of the smaller hand. Together, the two walked back towards the house. Tsunade had stopped the others from going up to Naruto and Kakashi. She didn't think that it was a very good idea to talk with the blonde when he was so shaken up. They stood and watched silently… sadly. The Hokage and Naruto left the courtyard. Sasuke folded his arms in displeasure. He was growing tired of having to walk around on eggshells around Naruto. He wanted to have the old Naruto back… he missed the pranks.

"I'm tired of this." Sasuke grumbled.

"You think the rest of us aren't?" Kiba ground out.

"You don't seem all that bothered by it." Sasuke spat back at the Inuzuka.

"That's because we saw him when he was at his worst." Shino muttered.

"We saw more than you could imagine." Kiba added.

"You'll just have to keep being patient, Sasuke." Tsunade said sorrowfully.

"It's just not the same…" Sasuke grumbled again and left.

They watched the Uchiha leave and followed him out after giving one last farewell to Iruka. Naruto followed Kakashi into the house in dead silence. Not a sound was emitted by Naruto… not by body… clothes or voice. Not a single sound. Kakashi turned to face the blonde. It was always a bad sign when the young man resorted to his ability to hold sound at bay. The blonde stood and looked up at the Nanadaime… tears began streaming down his face once more. Kakashi moved to embrace the young man… but he received the surprise of a life time. Naruto rushed forward and clung to Kakashi.

"Sakura… Shikamaru… Sai… Iruka-sensei…" Naruto listed the names off gravely.

"Naruto." Kakashi recovered from his shock and drifted his hands over the small back and into the golden hair.

"Don't die… Kakashi." Naruto said. "Don't ever die."

"Alright." Kakashi closed his eyes tightly.

How could he make such a promise? He was the Nanadaime Hokage of Konoha. Kakashi never knew when something might happen that could force him to fight… bring about the possibility of death. Even Naruto knew that the promise was ridiculous. It was just words… it wasn't something magical that could place a protective veil over the silver haired man. Yet… it made Naruto feel better. He could hold onto that promise as a form of comfort. Whenever Kakashi was gone… he could grip those words and wait for the Nanadaime's return.

The blonde relaxed against the man. He pressed closer and kept his grip tight on Kakashi. The Nanadaime swallowed with difficulty. He moved one hand away to slip his mask off. Kakashi looked down at the crown of golden hair and leaned down… kissing the top of Naruto's head. The blonde felt the gentle touch of Kakashi's lips. There was no mask… Naruto looked up at the man in surprise. Kakashi stared down… did he do something wrong? Was that kiss a bad idea? With the loss of his teacher… did Naruto regress?

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"Ah…" Kakashi's lips twitched slightly. "Naruto…"

"Did you mean it?" Naruto prompted.

"I…" Kakashi paused.

He wasn't sure if Naruto was asking what he thought he was asking. Did Naruto want to know about Kakashi's feelings? Or did he want to know if Kakashi would hold up his promise? He was uncertain… he was worried… no, he was scared. Naruto saw the fear. Realizing this would be difficult for Kakashi… Naruto wanted to test it. It would be easier for him to test it than for Kakashi to admit it. Naruto brought his arms from around Kakashi's waist and moved them up towards the Nanadaime's face. Timidly… Naruto placed a hand on each side of the pale face.

The blonde pulled Kakashi's face down and painfully slowly touched his lips to the Hokage's. The silver haired man himself froze. His eyes widened as Naruto stared into his mismatched eyes with his own blue ones. It was so chaste… so light… that Kakashi almost didn't believe that it was happening. When Naruto felt how stiff Kakashi grew, he pulled away. The Nanadaime felt the loss and immediately wanted it back. Naruto's lips were tender and warm. He liked them and had wanted to feel them for so long.

So, Kakashi placed his own hands on Naruto's whiskered cheeks. He brought the young man's face back up to his own and placed his lips on Naruto's. The blonde jerked at the quickness Kakashi used. The Nanadaime drew him in closer and pressed his lips more forcibly onto Naruto's. The blonde shivered briefly at the sensation that streamed through his veins. It was warm and it tingled. The young man liked it and moved closer to Kakashi's warm body. It was a wonderful feeling for the Nanadaime. He never wanted to let go… neither of them wanted to let go.

* * *

Yeah… so… this chapter's a little more optimistic by the end of it, right?

But now… I leave you all with a question: "She was nice to Naruto and Kakashi this time, but what does that mean she's going to do to them next chapter?"

….Go ahead, I knew you want to slap me again.


	9. Chapter 9

Three days now… Kakashi grumbles and folds his arms childishly. The kiss that Naruto and he had shared was three days ago… the blonde promptly fainted after the kiss. He was exhausted from the stress his body endured once he learned of Iruka's death. When the young man woke up… he became rather distant with Kakashi. So, now while Kakashi sits in his office… signing papers and snapping at every little thing. One could say that the Nanadaime was in a bad mood. Personally, Tsunade had found it rather amusing.

She had never seen this particular side of the silver haired man. He was acting like a little kid that had his toy taken away. Sasuke had gotten over his gloominess in favor of picking on his teacher. Naturally… several others joined, especially Yamato. Tsunade grinned to herself and left the office. Kakashi would be busy for several more hours before heading home. So, she wanted to go have a one on one talk with Naruto. Tsunade was positive that Kakashi's recent attitude problems had something to do with the blonde man.

She reached the house and knocked on the door gently. Naruto was sitting on the couch like always when the sound reached his sensitive ears. Who was coming to visit him? Naruto stood up and headed for the door… Tsunade? The blonde could feel the presence of the former Hokage on the other side of the wooden door. He turned the lock and pulled the door open. Tsunade smiled at him warmly and he nodded a little in acknowledgement. Naruto stepped aside and let the woman into the house.

"What is it, Tsunade?" Naruto inquired curiously.

"Kakashi's been acting a little… odd lately." Tsunade said with a light laugh.

Naruto's eyes widened knowingly. He felt guilty almost as soon as Tsunade had said the Nanadaime's name. Naruto folded his arms around his stomach and winced. It was true that he didn't know how to act around Kakashi after the kiss. Naruto had only known Kabuto's touch when it came to that one intimate night. It was hard to take in Kakashi's gentle caresses and light kisses. The only thing Naruto knew was to grow completely silent and distance himself. After all… that's what he'd done with Kabuto.

"I have a feeling you haven't been giving him enough attention, Naruto." Tsunade said with a smile. "He's very needy, you know."

"I'm sorry." Naruto bowed his head shamefully.

"Naruto… I didn't mean it like that." Tsunade took the boy's hand and led him back to his couch. "Don't be sorry."

"But… I just…" Naruto stopped when Tsunade interrupted him.

"Trust me; he loves you more than you know." Tsunade beamed. "He even loves you more than the village."

"But-"

"Naruto, you just need to give him a chance."

"Tsunade-"

"I know it's probably difficult, but he means well."

"Tsunade-"

"He just loves you so much… he's been holding out for you since he first became your teacher." Tsunade smiled fondly.

"Tsunade-"

"He's been trying so hard to do anything for you without frightening you."

"Tsunade!" Naruto felt his voice rise of its own accord.

Tsunade blinked and stared, open-mouthed, at the blonde. This was the first time that she'd heard Naruto raise his voice into a shout. He'd spoken loudly once or twice for various reasons that had called for it, but he'd never shouted. Naruto's face warmed and began to change into a deep pink. He'd yelled at Tsunade… he'd actually yelled. He hadn't yelled in so long. Naruto almost forgot what it was like to let his voice ring out so easily. It felt… right… but he was worried if he'd angered Tsunade. When Tsunade smiled so widely that the edges of her lips could have reached her ears, Naruto knew it was okay.

"What is it, Naruto?" Tsunade asked happily.

"I… I just don't know how to act around him now." Naruto mumbled.

"Act around him now? Did something happen?" Tsunade raised her eyebrows inquiringly.

"I… we kissed three days ago." Naruto brought his knees up to his chest.

"Oooh…" Tsunade couldn't stop herself from laughing. "No wonder he's been in such and ornery mood!"

"What do you mean?" Naruto looked at the woman confusedly.

"You've been distant with him since then, haven't you?" Tsunade grinned.

"I suppose so." Naruto nodded vaguely.

"Naruto… you don't have to be afraid of how to act around Kakashi." Tsunade said soothingly. "He wants to be with you and hold you. You don't always have to kiss and then do more right afterwards. Just let him touch you… if you don't like something he does, tell him. He'll stop."

Naruto looked down at his knees as he absorbed the information. He still wasn't sure if he could do that… and so… he asked Tsunade to talk with him some more. Eventually, Tsunade ran out of things she could tell him and opted to call for Kurenai. The Jounin was very pleased to share and teach Naruto how to be affectionate. Both Tsunade and Kurenai knew that the desire to be near Kakashi was a good sign of progress. If all went well with Kakashi… Naruto could probably enter normal society again. Even if he couldn't be a ninja… he could live a decent life.

By the time Kakashi had finished up his work it was late. On nights like these, he would stop by some restaurant and grab something for Naruto and him. He decided that the blonde deserved some ramen tonight… even if he never asked for ramen, Kakashi figured he'd still liked it. After stopping by Ichiraku and getting several bowls, he trekked back towards the house. As he walked through the village, people told him to give their best to the young man. To tell Naruto that they hope he's continuing to improve and can't wait until he's ready to see the villagers. It made Kakashi happy… Naruto always felt better when he heard that no one hated him.

The Nanadaime saw the house come into view and was surprised to see Tsunade and Kurenai leaving. Kakashi scoffed… so that's where Tsunade ran off to. He'd been really upset that she had just up and disappeared without telling him where she had gone. The silver haired man frowned and headed for the two women… but he saw Naruto peek his head out the door and look at him. Kakashi's frown disappeared immediately and he waved at the blonde. Naruto moved to stand on the doorstep and waited for Kakashi. Tsunade could wait until tomorrow. Right now… Naruto was giving him the most adorable blank expression.

"Glad you weren't lonely while I was gone, Naruto." Kakashi said as he reached the blonde.

"Welcome home, Kakashi." Naruto stepped into the house, his head bowed embarrassedly.

The Nanadaime stepped into the home and shut the door. Naruto took the bag of food from his hands and left for the kitchen. Kakashi sighed in disappointment… the blonde still seemed to be keeping away from him. Still, the kiss meant something, right? The silver haired man removed his mask and shoes before padding towards the kitchen as well. When he arrived, Naruto already had the food set out and ready to eat. Kakashi found it hard to believe even now that the blonde was so quick and quiet. He almost wished for the clumsy, loud, bouncy kid Naruto used to be.

Kakashi moved to sit down, but stopped when Naruto was at his side standing nervously. The blonde was shifting from one foot to the other… it was adorable. Kakashi looked at Naruto questioningly and turned towards him. Naruto looked up at the Nanadaime and quickly swallowed his fear. He stepped forward and pushed himself up onto his tiptoes. Kakashi blinked as the blonde set a small and timid kiss on his lips. Naruto pulled away and sat in his seat all in one fluid move. When the young man looked over at the other man… he saw a bright smile… so he smiled too.

The next day… Naruto gave him another kiss when he left. The day after that… Kakashi got another, longer kiss. The day after that… Kakashi got long kiss and was able to hold the blonde close to his body. The day after that… Naruto disappeared. Kakashi had been at work all day… no one had visited the blonde… no one knew where Naruto had gone. A search crew was sent out and Kakashi was tied down by Tsunade and Sasuke. No one knew what happened to the blonde… he just vanished. None of the villagers had seen him… none of the ANBU had seen him either.

What happened to the blonde man? Kakashi was assuming the worst. Even while Tsunade held Kakashi to his chair and Sasuke left… even if Sasuke promised that Naruto would be found… Kakashi was beside himself. He was terrified. What could have happened? Did someone take him? Was Kabuto or Danzo still alive? Were they both still alive? What happened?! Tsunade was also dreading the worst. The blonde wasn't fit to defend himself… he wasn't fit to be a ninja anymore. His hands shook when he tried to hold something steady or when aiming. He wouldn't be able to be a ninja.

For days… the ninja of Konoha searched and found nothing. Naruto had disappeared entirely. There was no trace of the blonde. No scent… no cloth… the house wasn't in disarray. What could have happened? Eventually… people stopped talking about the loss of Naruto. Kakashi noted how villagers began to forget that Naruto had returned… ninja started to forget to look for him. Soon after… Kakashi saw how people forgot of the blonde's existence period. Even Sasuke… and Tsunade… they'd forgotten all about Naruto. Then one day… Kakashi forgot about Naruto… he felt something inside of him be torn out.

Kakashi didn't know what it was… he just knew it was painful. It wasn't something he'd ever experienced. As he sat in his office and cried out in agony… everything went white. Stark white… blinding white… he couldn't see anything through the pain. That's when he heard voices… calling out to him. What was going on? He heard Sasuke… he heard… Sakura? Kakashi jerked his body at the sound. He heard someone else… someone he'd almost forgotten… the person had been lost and fumbling through his mind. Naruto.

"Kakashi! Just wake up already! We're tired of holding you down! Do you know how many bruises I have because of you!?" That voice… it was hearty… it was loud.

"Naruto! He's waking up from a coma! Be nice!" A girl's voice… warning him… Sakura!

"Will you both just stop arguing and hold him down!?" Annoyed… slightly bemused… Sasuke.

Kakashi's eyes flew open and he stared up at his students. They were all hovering over him… Naruto and Sakura looking worse for wear than Sasuke. What was going on!? Kakashi's gaze settled on the grinning... healthy… living Naruto. This… was this real? Or… what was this? Sakura slammed her fist down onto Naruto's head at some remark… Sasuke shook his head and sighed. The three were acting like nothing important had happened… he was so confused. Then he finally looked around the room… the hospital? He was in the hospital!

"Next time you decide to fall off the edge of a cliff, do it around Naruto." Sasuke remarked in Kakashi's direction.

"Cliff?" Kakashi blinked dumbly.

"Yeah… remember? We were on that mission to Suna… there was a big fight with some of those new Akatsuki wannabes." Sasuke explained dully. "You got hit in the chest and tumbled off a cliff. That was about two weeks ago."

"Yeah, we came straight here when we got back from our mission." Naruto said with a grin.

"Actually… Kakashi, it was more like Naruto dragged us all here." Sakura stated.

"Oh come on! He used to be our teacher! We should be here when he wakes up… and when the nurses can't do anything when he's kicking and screaming in his sleep." Naruto laughed.

"Speaking of which…" Sasuke said with a tone of interest. "You were calling for Naruto an awful lot."

"HEY!" The blonde's face flared up. "I thought we agreed not to say anything about that!"

Kakashi listened as the three continued to banter. He sat up in the bed… his head was aching. Events of what Sasuke mentioned started to float back into his mind. That's right… Sasuke, Kiba, Ino and he had gone to Suna. They were attacked on the way back. They had left on the same day that Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru and Sai had left on their mission. Kakashi froze… his mind also brought back the memories of what had happened while he was unconscious. Kakashi replayed the nightmare… then he smiled. A moment later… he laughed whole-heartedly. His students grew silent and stared at the bedridden Jounin.

"What is it, Kakashi?" Naruto asked.

"…Nothing… I just had a really… horrible dream." Kakashi chuckled.

"And you're laughing why?" Sasuke felt his left eye twitch briefly.

"Because it also told me something." Kakashi calmed his joy.

"Told you what?" Sakura feared that something was knocked loose in her former teacher's mind.

"That I should do this." Kakashi reached out.

He grabbed Naruto by his Chuunin vest and dragged him forward. Kakashi recklessly tugged his mask off and crashed his lips into Naruto's tan ones. Sasuke and Sakura both shoved their chairs back from the bed in surprise. Their former teacher… the man that while unconscious was elected Nanadaime… was kissing their teammate. Sakura felt rather embarrassed when she caught herself staring so openly at the two. Sasuke just felt awkward at seeing such open affection coming from Kakashi. Naruto on the other hand… was quite enjoying himself.

He'd never been given the time of day by anyone in a romantic fashion. Hinata wasn't included… he told her that he had other "interests." She understood and settled with being a good friend. Being kissed so thoroughly… so passionately… so lovingly. It was wonderful. When Kakashi finally pulled from the kiss, he was pleased to see that Naruto was awestruck and not upset. He grinned and pulled the mask back on. Naruto sat back and almost toppled off the edge of the bed, but was fortunate enough to catch himself. Tsunade coughed… making her presence known… and gave Kakashi a look that meant they'd be having a little "talk" later on.

"Hatake Kakashi… you've been selected to be the Nanadaime." Tsunade said before turning and leaving. No need to stick around and elaborate.

"Hm? So that's what you've all been up to while I was asleep?" Kakashi tilted his head.

"You were in a coma, Kakashi." Sakura pouted. "Now I guess we know why you kept calling for Naruto."

"…Then why'd you call for Kabuto and Danzo, Kakashi." Naruto's dreamy eyes disappeared and looked rather disturbed suddenly.

"Kabuto and Danzo?" Kakashi paused to recall why they were so important to his nightmare… then he frowned so deeply it was completely visible through his mask. "They… well… it was just a dream. I won't let it really happen, Naruto."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"Now… when do you want to move into the Hokage tower with me?" Kakashi grinned predatorily. This was going to be so much fun.

* * *

AHAHAHAHA! I bet you're all going "WHAT THE HELL!?!" or "I SHOULD KILL YOU!"

Hence the name Lost and Fumbling. That's what I relate dreams to. When you're in your dreams… you usually feel one of two things either being lost, or you're fumbling. So, when Kakashi woke up and saw he had a second chance, he didn't want to lose it.

Yay! No one really died! Sakura, Shikamaru, Sai and Naruto all returned from their mission safe and sound. Iruka's alive and well… and he's still a Chuunin. XD

THANK YOU FOR READING!! I hope you took this as meaningful ending and not a "Tch… talk about a fairytale ending."


End file.
